I often wish I had never read a single book about babies. Babywise. Happy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. The Happiest Baby on the Block. Secrets of The Baby Whisperer. I’ve read them all.

I suppose that if pressed, I wouldn’t trade the information I’ve gained from them, but with it comes an undeniable hazard: that naggling little voice in your head that reminds you every time you’re doing something “wrong.”

I have to shut down that annoying little voice all the time, assuring myself instead that after three babies, I know what works for me. Before Baby #1 came along, if I had only read the following tips, I would have been just fine. And that nagging little voice might never have entered my head.

1. Treat the first three months like the fourth trimester, an extension of the womb.  Swaddle, shush, use white noise and rhythmic taps.

2. From day one, focus on full feedings. This will mean a happier baby and a less exhausted mommy, because Baby will be able to go a bit longer between feedings. Poke those cute cheeks, burp him in the middle of a feeding—whatever it takes to keep your baby awake until he’s full!

3. That said, don’t worry about routines or “rules” for at least six weeks. During that time, just watch for patterns, and experiment with getting Baby down for a nap without feeding. But no pressure! Babies are very erratic before about six to eight weeks, and that’s okay!

4. After about six weeks, begin to establish a loose 2 1/2- to 3-hour routine. Start each day at about the same time, to help establish some consistency. (Wake baby up when needed.) After that, your day will consist of many roughly 3-hour increments of feed-time, wake-time, and sleep-time. (Sometimes they’ll be shorter, sometimes longer—not a huge deal!)

5. Begin soothing your baby to sleep within two hours of when you first started the feeding. At six weeks, babies are only able to be awake for about an hour altogether (including the feeding), but the time will gradually increase. Newborns also don’t give tired cues very well (other than fussing), so just keep an eye on the clock and experiment, noting at what point they seem to fall asleep easiest. As babies get older it’ll become easier to see yawns and eye rubbing, which signal sleepiness. Get her down even before she seems tired, and it will be much easier! (Overtired babies fight sleep like crazy!)

6. When at first your baby resists going down without eating, don’t sweat it. Sometimes it’ll work; other times it won’t. He’ll get the hang of it with practice! To teach my babies to soothe themselves to sleep, I always swaddle, set in the crib, and let them fuss / cry for a couple of minutes. Then I go back in, stick in the pacifier, shush and pat—all while Baby is still in the crib. I repeat as needed until Baby is asleep. (I do take them out of the crib and rock / bounce if the pacifier and shushing just isn’t cutting it! And if they’re still fighting it, I feed them!) But with enough patience and practice, all I have to do is swaddle, stick in the pacifier, pat a few times, and they’re off to dreamland! (Quinn and I are not to that point yet, just FYI!)

After all of that, I have to tell you that the biggest lesson I’ve learned is one I don’t remember ever reading in a book. It is to trust your intuition and to enjoy seeing it develop. You will become an expert on your baby. No one will know her like you will, which means you can blithely ignore all the well-intended advice that you know won’t work for you and your child. :) Including the tips I just shared! What works for me may not be your style, but you’ll find it, and once you do, be confident in yourself.

I remember my sister telling me when I was expecting my first baby that she couldn’t wait for me to experience the natural growth into motherhood—the slow and quiet appearance of an instinct you didn’t know you had, the confidence that comes from learning to fulfill your child’s needs. A mother is born when a baby is, and we are shaped as our babies grow.

(Take that! Nagging Little Voice.)

For the moms out there, if you made a list of everything you needed to know to soothe a baby, would it look like mine or be totally different?

Welcome! If you like being a mom, making a home, and living with purpose, you’ll fit right in! Like Let Why Lead on facebook, follow along in a reader, or come see me on pinterest. Grateful you’re here! {Erica}

Linked up with Grace at Home and Preparing for a Little One. 

{ 17 comments }

A few nights ago, I came full circle.

You see, for months, while I anticipated the arrival of our baby, I sang to her in the shower. I did this while I was expecting all three of my babies, actually. To me it was a way for the baby to get to know my voice—and for me to feel closer to that new little spirit. After chaotic days of answering my older children’s every need, at night, when I was finally alone and the house finally quiet, I could sing.

A few nights ago, my baby girl heard me sing in the shower again. Only this time, she lay in an infant seat on top of the bathmat. Her tiny legs kicked like usual, but now, she wasn’t inside of me. I managed to get through “All I Ask of You” and half of “Defying Gravity” (you’re welcome to make fun of me!) before she needed me, but as I blew my hair dry a few minutes later, I was warm with the thought that Quinn and I had come full circle.

I hope you’re watching for the full circles in your life, too. Have a wonderful week, everyone!

{ 3 comments }