If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m a bit of a realist when it comes to love. Hopefully you can still like me in spite of this. :)
In January, when I posted 8 chalkboard quotes on love, I mentioned that when looking for the quotes, I came across plenty that I disagree with. I thought today I’d share three, as well as why I wouldn’t teach these concepts to my kids.
1. “A man truly loves you when missing you is his hobby…making you happy is his duty…And loving you is his life.” Let’s just say I immediately unsubscribed from the source that promoted this quote. I don’t want my daughter to think that her mere existence will make her husband’s world go around. I hope to instead teach her that no amount of external factors (affection, admiration, etc.) can ever truly satisfy someone whose internal compass does not point to joy.
2. “Don’t marry the person you can live with; marry the only individual you can’t live without.” OH MY HEAVENS, imagine if every parent gave their teenager this advice. Everyone would end up with the heartthrob / bad boy! On a different note, I turned down a lot of dates in college based on the assumption that I could live without that guy. Maybe I didn’t find him attractive enough…or I thought his major was weird. So I passed. While I’m obviously extremely grateful for who I did end up with, I hope to teach my children that love can grow on you—surprise you—and that finding someone you CAN live with is important, too.
3. “I married someone who…Loves me without restriction. Trusts me without fear. Wants me without demand. Accepts me for who I am.” All my life I heard the idea of finding someone who accepts you for who you are. But once you’re married, you quickly experience the tightrope act of wanting someone to change and loving them as they are. As long as you’re human, you are going to come up against characteristics in your spouse that you would like to see them change. Also, marrying someone means pledging to love that person’s future self—a total unknown to both of you—not just the person they are now.
* Although two of the memes come from the Happy Wives Club, I really do appreciate Fawn’s mission. I just happened to come across these and had a thing or two to say about them. :)