There are two of you doing this dance. This endless foxtrot of arranging who’s taking the kids to school, waiting to see who will take out the trash first, and playing rock-paper-scissors to see who will do the bedtime routine that night.
It is not exactly the romantic dance you imagined as a teenager. :)
The thing is, he works and you “stay home.” You handle permission slips and wounded toddler feelings and misfired pee. You wash three loads of dishes a day and a hundred loads of laundry a week. You don’t actually see what he does, but what you do is constantly staring you in the face.
Sometimes, when he’s home, he’s tired. Man alive, so are you! But all of your to-do’s are still staring you in the face, and it doesn’t seem like he even notices them. So you keep powering through.
After all, you are the giver, and he is the taker.
It’s a rough life, being the giver. No one seems to notice all you do. No one cares how tired you are. But who will fill your shoes? YOU are the giver.
It must be nice, thinking about yourself first, you think as you drag the vacuum around the house.
This thought crosses your mind a time or two—and then crops up more and more.
Until one day you realize you’re not so different. Because even though he’s not dragging the vacuum around at the moment (and you are), you’re still thinking of yourself first. The only difference is that the floor happens to be getting cleaner while you do it.
Turns out, you’re not quite the giver you thought you were. So you put down the vacuum and go snuggle your dance partner.
Tomorrow the dance begins again.