To my Park Day girlfriends, I’m sorry I was out of it today. My ears were still ringing from a certain three-year-old’s screaming that morning at home. For a least the fourth time in the last two weeks, I literally felt shellshocked, to the point where my social skills crash and burn because my mind cannot stop stewing over how to get us out of this lovely phase.
I love this spirited little man with all my heart, and I recognize all the progress we have made together. He can be sweeter than apple pie when he wants to be. And until a couple weeks ago, his syrupy sweetness shined through considerably more than his temper. Statements like “I love our beautiful home” and “It makes Heavenly Father so happy when I give things to Chase” spout from his mouth frequently.
But all of a sudden, he is yelling at me over the smallest things (“NO! I DO want you to tell me a story!”) and seems to teeter on this cliff from where he cannot return without my help once he has fallen. (Neither Ryan or I are yellers, fyi.)
I’m trying my best to be consistent with calm statements like “I can’t hear you when you talk that way. Would you like to start over?” But it takes all my willpower to calmly direct him when I’m still puffy-eyed from rolling out of bed only moments before the onslaught begins!
Early this morning, 5:30am, I heard him saying very insistently from his room, “MOM! Mom! MOM! I’m mad!” I went into his room to check on him and found he was asleep. My child was yelling at me in his sleep!
Honestly, I am not telling you this in search of sympathy. (Believe me, I’ve given myself enough pity today to go around for a good long while!) But this is not one of those days when I am going to say that the brief but blissful moments make up for all the hard ones. As mothers, we all say that. We have to. Consciously looking for those moments is what makes this baffling journey of motherhood doable—and thankfully, enjoyable. But some days, let’s just let it be enough to say, this is hard.
And with that, I bid you good night! I am proudly a morning person and know things always look better with a new day! (Thanks for passing that on, Mom!)